So, I have a gym membership as of October 2008! For the past prob month, I've been really dedicated to the cause of losing weight and getting healthy. I work out 3 times a week for a total of about 6 hours!
So anyways, my friend B decided to drag me along to her Zumba class. Zumba (at least in my gym) is the equivalent of auditioning for 'So You Think You Can Dance?' I shit you not, our teacher swears she's a choreographer and proceeds to teach us what looks like erotic stripper moves as opposed calorie burning movements. Has anybody seen the 'Single Ladies' video with Beyonce.....we've done that routine!!!!!!!! Another big issue I have, (I hate if this sounds crude but this is my blog after all) is that my instructor isn't Miss Fitness USA. I'm talking kinda overweight. Now before you lampoon me....hear me out! My instructor has been instructing for 3 years and teaches 12-15 classes a week-it's not really encouraging since most of the people in my class are overweight people (including me) trying to lose weight!!!! Am I wrong?!
My other class is Advanced Step. This class is truly hilarious because me and B don't know the routine (since we are new) so we look like braindead idiots with 2 left feet!!!! Not to mention the vicious 'bitchfaces' we get from all the veterans for our lack of coordination hehe. Onto my instructor-it's a man! That's the first thing that I found shocking, it's rare ya know? The man is entertaining as hell because of the WAY he teaches........think Richard Simmons without the hideous leotard. This is the dialogue he does in class:
YAAAAAAAYYYYYY WELCOMEEE!!!!!!
OK LET'S BEGIN: AROUND THE WORLD, KICK BALL CHANGE, AND KICK KICK
HIGHER NOW CROSS OVER
I SAW THAT SARAH YOU ALMOST FELL
YOU GUYS AREN'T WORKING!!! DONT YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FEEL IT FEEL THE BURNNNNNNNNNNNN
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
IF YOU DONT KNOW THE ROUTINE JUST DO A BASIC STEP
YES WE'RE DOING......JUST DO IT........YES AND FEEL IT.....STOP LOOKING AT MY BUTT IN THE MIRROR AND MOVE LADIES
The man could do his own one man show for goodness sake! LOL
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