The L Word Recap: Last Couple Standing

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(SCREAMING) WTH?! I HATE THAT THE L WORD IS ENDING BUT IT'S A GODSEND AT THIS POINT FOR ME! DON'T GET ME WRONG- I LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS EPISODE BUT DAMNIT AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE WRAPPING UP SINCE THE FINALE IS ON SUNDAY! FURTHERMORE TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY THE VIEWERS FIND OUT THAT THE LAST EPISODE ISN'T 2 HOURS NOOOOOOO IT'S 1 HOUR OF BEHIND THE SCENES MEMORIES AND THEN THE TYPICAL 1 HR (COUGH*45 MIN*) SHOW WE ALWAYS GET!!! I'M GLAD THE SHOW IS ENDING BUT SADDENED BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN BUTCHERED.....
*END RANT*

ONTO MY RECAP:

So I was really digging the dance-a-thon they had going on in this episode! Nothing like that happens where I live- I would SO go if it did.....

Was anyone laughing at the fact of how the audience was supposed to follow the dancers on the stage for 'examples' of the type of dance they were supposed to be doing yet they were doing piruettes and gymnastics all over the place!

Bette and Tina looked adorable! Tina stepped her game up wardrobe wise and Bette looked FAB! (Shoutout to Rangergirl) They were ROBBED in my opinion- did Jodie and her partner only win because Jodie's deaf?! I'm really serious asking that, because Jodie's 'moves' were NOT all that! I hate to be mean (well no I don't) but they got a SYMPATHY VOTE IMO....

I thought that Bette was going to lay a punch on Jenny when she approached her talking trash about her sleeping with Kelly- I was begging her (well the tv technically) to do it!

Aww I'm glad Dylan sucked it up and came back to Helena. I mean to me she didn't really have a right to be as mad as she was about being tested...Helena was trying to protect her own heart after what happened before with them.

Shane Shane Shane- What a low down dirty Shane! Is there no bottom to the abyss...She's giving everyone the impression that she can't stand Jenny but she allows herself to be stomped on and embarassed publicly- if she'd broken up with her after the 'office' fiasco this problem wouldn't exist.

So I finally agree with something Jenny has done!!! Her public shaming/stoning of Shane was well played (golf claps) but onto a more interesting theory on that: I think Jenny has bugged Shane or she's been stalking her! Think about it- remember when Shane went and met Alice? Jenny magically popped up, She knew Shane was in the bathroom with Nikki (which was weird), buying Shane's affections right when she knows she's losing her, etc

Jive Talk Kit was in all her 70's glory this episode!! I balked when I saw that afro on her....

Now that I've seen Sunset out of drag, I wasn't very excited to see him back in those skintight discoball dresses which were very unflattering...I loved that he came out and declared to everybody that he was a straight man who liked to dress in drag! Kit looked pissed and hurt but it's only because she liked Sunset as her girlfriend and realized how droolworthy Simon? was! So there's Kit's happy ending.....

Where was MAx? This is the first time since MAx has appeared that I've actually been interested in one of his storylines and he's disappeared again!

Alice, Tasha, and Jamie looked adorable in their Salt n Peppa type outfits! She's so competitive with Bette

Jamie is a stealthy B...she's been gunning for Tasha all this time while pretending to be Alice's friend! Didn't we all know? Yes but still......

So here are MY theories for the Finale (These are great ideas if I do say so myself! Maybe I should should write for a show lol) :

* I think the last show is going to flash forward in time a little bit (remember the first episode showed Jenny's death then flashed to 3 months prior) I think we'll end up to the day Jenny was killed then we'll be treated to a mix of the present sprinkled with flashforwards and flashbacks (Think Benjamin Button or Memento) I think it'll be like that the entire episode so as to keep the viewers guessing as to how Jenny died or if she did at all...

* In a flashforward, we will see Max give his baby to Bette and Tina. Unable to handle the pressure of being labeled a 'mother' he will gladly give the baby to them and proceed to receive his operation and move somewhere where nobody knows a thing about him.


* Bette and Tina will fall out over this Wentworth Scandal. Tina will have lost trust in Bette upon seeing Jenny's photograph and will flee to NY for the job she was offered taking the baby. Flashforward in time- Bette begs forgiveness and provides proof that she didn't cheat. They all live happily ever after with a new life and new friends.

* We will flash to Kit and Sunset/Simon getting married. Their reception will be in HIT where Carmen will be the DJ. (This will be after Jenny) Shane and Carmen will lock eyes and remember all their old feeling for each other. They'll run away together for a fresh start....

* Helena will enter the movie business again with Dylan at her side. They'll stay in LA and live their lives extortion free....

* Tasha and Alice will break up. Tasha will move in with Jamie, all friendship ties between them will be severed. (Rightfully so!)
*Now onto Jenny's Death Theories:

~This is all an elaborate fantasy within the twisted psyche of Jenny about random strangers/neighbors she's met. She's a writer who just moved to LA with her fiance' Tim.

~ Jodie kills Jenny in a psychotic rage! Hear me out: Jodie formed and unlikely friendship with Jenny in order to hear information about Tina and Bette's relationship. When Jenny confides in Jodie by telling her about the pic she took of Bette and Kelly, Jodie encourages her to expose Bette. Jenny exposes them but it doesn't do the amount of damage Jodie wanted which is for Bette to have NOTHING and be alone! In her rage, Fatal Attraction Jodie lashes out at Jenny killing her.

~ Nikki kills Jenny. Nikki is a STAR and she's sick and tired of Jenny reigning on her parade. First Jenny throws her away like trash, then she steals Shane, and then she pubicly humiliates Nikki at a well publicized event. She decides the only way to get what she wants is to take the problem (Jenny) out of the picture. After she kills her, Nikki prepares to be arrested because she knows that her celebrity will save her from jailtime but something goes wrong and the finger is pointed at Alice instead.

~ Adele returns to LA seething with rage. The film studio has stopped her 3 picture deal due to the fact that the film negative for Lez Girls is still missing. The film can't be released and as a result Adele is kicked to the curb. Adele served as Jenny's slave for too long to lose everything she ever wanted now....

~Alice goes temporarily insane. Reeling from her breakup with Tasha and still jobless, Alice hears news that the movie studios are in a bidding war for Jenny's script all while giving Jenny national celebrity as a great screenwriter. Alice snaps (just like she did when she engaged in a high speed chase pursuing Dana after the relationship was over) and proceeds to talk to Joyce about what she should do- Joyce tells her nothing can be done. Alice won't take it lying down and gets into a huge argument at a party celebrating Jenny's sucess. She and Jenny are by the pool screaming at each other (music is blasting and everyone is inside) and Alice shoves Jenny and she falls wrong and busts the back of her head on the pool ledge sinking into the pool.....Alice coming to grips with what she's done rushes inside for help

~This is all an elaborate story written by a troubled teenager living in the Midwest. Her name: Jennifer Schecter....

~Jenny committed suicide in a way that looks like foul play was involved. Her life has never gone right. All her relationships have fauled, her friends hate her, she hates herself and the serpent she's become, she has nobody.....so she drowns herself. But after she's dead the officers find it hard to believe that Jenny killed herself when so many people had motives and the one with the biggest: Alice

~ Jenny commits suicide and it's ruled as a suicide. All the friends go their separate ways and EUREKA! Alice gets a kickass idea for a screenplay about a woman's prison. She decides to do research by emerging herself into the prison scene under a cover: as a murderer who killed a friend. Since Jenny's dead she just uses that as her story.....


Whew that was alot!!! Until next week........